That's Just Wrong
by New
Summary: I will be tortured to death for the making of this fanfic. Please be easy on me. R&R.


Finally, the worst idea for a fanfiction coupling has been realized. This is a first, and I expect that no one will or has ever done this. Good. One of these fics is bad enough.  
  
And now, I present to you...  
  
ShinjiX??? Pairing!/An Unholy Union  
  
###  
  
Shinji stared blankly at the desk he sat it. He calmly carved a heart onto it with a stencil a few months ago, and was currently etching in three characters. The letter S, a backslash, and the letter A. Although everyone knew by now that the A was not Asuka, despite the rumor mill.  
  
Actually, Asuka herself had asked, half enraged and half flattered. Shinji had calmly confided that it was not her, and that although he did like Asuka very much, it was only as a friend. So, naturally, the whole school knew within the hour. Currently, the classroom was buzzing with questions on whom it was. Was it Ayanami? Well, since Shinji had been devoid of any attention to her staring out the window, bored, the crowd assumed not.  
  
Maybe it was Ayumi, another girl in the class? The short, even for a 14 year old in Japan, hastily confirmed that she loved another boy, Conan Edogawa, whom was also in the class. He had been embarrassed, but he was happy. Also, due to a lack of Shinji being crushed, it canceled out that idea.  
  
Aida had been briefly considered, but thrown out. Mainly because Kensuke was so pathetic that it had been concluded that even SHINJI, no matter how desperate, could not, would not, aim for Kensuke. Although Touji going for it was a distinct possibility.  
  
Eventually, class ended, with Shinji in a drowsy gaze. He walked out, daydreaming, and hit several walls on the way out. Hikari and Asuka looked at each other, and followed him, out of surprising concern for a pilot of Eva. And a roommate and a potential gossip story add-in.  
  
After repeated arguments and pestering, Shinji caved. He finally admitted whom he loved. Well, partially. "One of the teachers!" He said, forcing it out. "Now please stop."  
  
Hikari chewed on this. There were only three teachers whose names started with an A. Their normal Sensei, Mr. Ayasuki, whom was out of the question, Arnold, also out of the question, and a woman named Aya. She was a blond teacher, barely looking fresh into her twenties. Her eyes were blue, and some said that they glowed. She was the hottest teacher in the school, essentially.  
  
About a week later, all hell broke loose. It started that night, the night on the day that Asuka had pestered the truth out of Shinji....  
  
###  
  
That night, Misato had left Asuka and Shinji alone. That was a very bad idea. Asuka was bored. She knew Shinji's secret. She also had another. She had candid photos of Shinji. What they were, I won't describe; FFNet is somewhat stingy on those sort of things; but let's say it involved a monkey, a banana, and a pair of Touji's week old underwear.  
  
That image ingrained in your mind? Good. I won't have to type it out, then. If you MUST know, then email me.  
  
In any case, back to the story, Asuka had both motivation and a request. Although she was tempted to make Shinji "DANCE, FROGGER BOY, DANCE!!!", she wasn't about to waste her one, ultimate shot on that.  
  
At least, until she could copy it. Then Shinji really would be her slave.....  
  
Asuka stopped, and slipped into her room from the hallway. She closed it, made sure the cork walls she had installed using Misato's salary a month back (Hence Misato's non-ability to buy Steak for dinner) were secure, and made her first move of the mission.  
  
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!!!" She laughed, evilly. After composing herself, she opened her door and walked to Shinji, whom was sprawled out on the couch staring into space.  
  
"Hey, idiot, look here." Asuka said, holding up her photo, just outta Shinji's arm reach. Shinji looked up and swore aloud, trying to grab them.  
  
"No no no," She said, smirking. "You'll do as I say, if you want this picture erased." Shinji sighed, after several more grabbing attempts.  
  
"Alright, you win." Shinji said, giving up. "What do you want?" He asked.  
  
"Glad you asked." Asuka said, and smirked. "I want you to confess your love to the teacher. By next week, this time. With Hikari and I watching."  
  
Shinji went back into "Catch the Photo" mode.  
  
After failing, he gave in.  
  
"Fine, just promise you'll destroy it." Shinji said, beaten and broken in.  
  
"Sure!" Asuka lied, and smirked. This would be fun...  
  
###  
  
And so the week passed, and Shinji was standing outside the teacher's lounge, sweating like a pig from a case of nerves. Hikari and Asuka stood outside the window, staring at the soon to unfold confession.  
  
Shinji gulped and knocked. Ms. Aya walked to the door, and opened it. She smiled at the boy.  
  
After a bit of unheard conversation (Well, unheard by Asuka and Hikari), Aya nodded and left. The two gasped. "What?!" The whispered fiercely, staring in shock. Shinji walked in, closed the door, and tapped a newspaper standing up on a table.  
  
Wait, what? Turns out that that Mr. Ayasuki was reading the paper, unnoticed by the two spying girls. The man looked up. He said something that obviously meant "Yes, Shinji?"  
  
Shinji swallowed. The girls stared. He then said something. The teacher replied to speak up, he was old and deaf. Shinji sighed, and said it loudly.  
  
"I love you, Sensei. Take me now!" Shinji shouted, and pounced on the old man. Within seconds, the two had their clothes everywhere, and moaning emerged from the room.  
  
"Sweet Jesus." Asuka said, and turned to puke on the side. "This is almost as HURRRK bad as the HRUK guy who wrote a story about Shinji raping me. That man was HURK! messed up!" Asuka went into a puking fit, hurling all that she had eaten... ever.  
  
Hikari simply fainted.  
  
Any comments and death threats? Than please review. :D 


End file.
